[TES Lore] Lorekhan #2: The Imperial City and the Empire [Part 1]

Welcome again to another¬†punishingly named chapter in our Elder Scrolls lore series. Last week, we talked about the Elder Scrolls themselves. This week, we’ll be looking at the history of the Imperial City and the White-Gold Tower, and its significance throughout the eras.

The Imperial City is a circular city which is built on an isle in Lake Rumare, with the White-Gold Tower Continue reading

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[TES Lore] Lorekhan #1: The Elder Scrolls

Welcome to my new lore series for Elder Scrolls. I’m going to be taking my abilities at lazily but efficiently explaining mechanics and ideas while throwing in a bunch of really dumb humor, and combining it with my nerdiness about Elder Scrolls and its lore. Also, yes, the actual name of the series is a geeky/nerdy Elder Scrolls lore pun. I’m da baws.

This lore series will hopefully teach you the very insanely rich lore of the Elder Scrolls world in an entertaining manner, and allow you to out-nerd your friends whenever you sit down to play a single player TES game and/or ESO with them.

 

THE ELDER SCROLLS

So the title doesn’t confuse you, seem redundant, and imply that I’m covering all lore in one article, I’m just going to make this clear that this first chapter is actually about the titular Elder Scrolls themselves. Continue reading

What Dog is Working On

Hello readers, and before I blab at you, I want to wish you a happy Veterans day, and a happy Skyrim Anniversary.

Here it is, I’m going to tell you what I’ve been (very lazily) working on. Continue reading

DERP Guides: X3AP Humble Merchant Starting Guide Ultimate Edition

INTRODUCTION

So, you want to start out as a Humble Merchant, trading and building your way to galactic domination? Maybe you’re new to X3, and you’re as befuddled by all the abbreviations and menus as I am befuddled whenever I try to watch Downton Abby? (The point of the show eludes me. It just bores the muffin pan out of me whenever I try to watch it, so no data about WTF is going on enters my brain.) Then you’ve come to the right geeky space-trader nut person running a gaming blog who doesn’t comprehend Downton Abby!

This is a rapidly-created, updated version of my original best-viewing guide, and I mean for this to replace the old version, This is essentially the same guide, with actual spell-checking, more helpful tips on how to start different things, and artistic important-stuff-emphasization via color-coding. I just cleaned the article up and made it better.

Also, I aim to expand it with the help of you knowledgeable readers, that way in the future the people who read this may also become knowledgeable readers. Do it for swag.

Continue reading

Things You Do Not “Simply Do” in X3

Yes, I’m writing a quick post which probably isn’t going to be all that useful to you, as it’s not a guide about how to do anything. It’s just a list I spent ten minutes writing of things you “don’t simply do”. Continue reading

Dog Builds an Empire: X3 Albion Prelude Chapter 12

This chapter (and possibly future chapters), is special in that it will be written while I’m playing. So enjoy whatever that does for the articles.

Yes, I stopped being a lazy little gamer playing Borderlands and Minecraft and STO (all at the same time) over X3. You guys actually genuinely like my journals, and so I decided that I need to stop just playing games for fun, but to again play games for the fun of me and my readers. X3 may be a slow game at times, and I may be at a slow part. So I’m up early in the morning, and I’m gonna make more journals and guides for X3, and not let my blog be a derelict of forgotten dreams and abandoned McGriddles.

THINGS ARE NOT ACHIEVING THEMSELVES

Welp, I guess the dude on Reddit who said I’d be kidnapped back to X3 in a month was spot-on.
Continue reading

DERP Guides: X3 AP Humble Merchant Guide (Chapter 1: Starting Your Empire)

INTRODUCTION

THIS ARTICLE IS OUTDATED, AND A NEW, CLEANED UP AND EXPANDED VERSION EXISTS HERE. IF YOU CAME HERE FROM GOOGLE, I DO APOLOGIZE, BUT PLEASE CLICK DAT LINK FOR YOUR OWN GOOD!

So, you want to start out as a Humble Merchant, trading and building your way to galactic domination? Maybe you’re new to X3, and you’re as befuddles by all the abbreviations and menus as I am whenever I try to watch Downton Abby? (The point of the show eludes me. It just bores the muffin pan out of me whenever I try to watch it, so no data about WTF is going on enters my brain.) Then you’ve come to the right geeky space-trader nut person running a gaming blog who doesn’t comprehend Downton Abby! Continue reading