[Episode 5] FTL: Like if You Die Everytime

Welcome back readers! The first episode can be found here and the previous episode here.

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Dog G6: I’m going engi Torus
Dog G6: cuz DAMMIT IMMA WIN AS ENGI
Dog G6: got to the mothership last time and got screwed by it
Dog G6: cuz attrition basically
Dog G6: I have all the engi ship achieves lol
Dog G6: going normal
[ChHa] Volatar: I have yet to beat the flagship
Dog G6: I’ve got Davion, Kara and Magne
[ChHa] Volatar: It is so bloody hard
Dog G6: I beat it with a maxed out kestral on normal, that was my first and only win so far
Dog G6: xD
[ChHa] Volatar: I am playing on Easy
[ChHa] Volatar: and still
[ChHa] Volatar: nothing
Dog G6: xD
Dog G6: Sephiroth does too
Dog G6: *looks at the future sephiroth who reads this article*
Dog G6: *I see you future reader people*
Dog G6: *and sephiroth, play on normal FFS
Dog G6: *
Dog G6: lol
[ChHa] Volatar: I think I am going to play as Engie as well
[ChHa] Volatar: Type B or C though?
[ChHa] Volatar: B is fun
[ChHa] Volatar: you start with just one guy
Dog G6: yeah I have B
Dog G6: it’s fun
[ChHa] Volatar: C has haxing though
Dog G6: just one dude and his drone army
[ChHa] Volatar: I’ma play C
Dog G6: lol you have all these ships and you haven’t beaten the game
Dog G6: I feel cheated
Dog G6: xD
[ChHa] Volatar: I know
[ChHa] Volatar: haha
Dog G6: and sephiroth too you guys all just playing on easy
[ChHa] Volatar: I persue those sidequests!
Dog G6: damn casuals
[ChHa] Volatar: fine
Dog G6: jk lol
[ChHa] Volatar: i will play on Normal
Dog G6: you’re fine xD
[ChHa] Volatar: no!
[ChHa] Volatar: I will not be called a Casual
[ChHa] Volatar: I will play on your level
Dog G6: you’ll admittedly have way more progress on easy
Dog G6: I just play normal cuz I’m stubborn
[ChHa] Volatar: I know
[ChHa] Volatar: i usually GET to the flagship on easy
Dog G6: and dream that someday my drones are going to save me
[ChHa] Volatar: Ok
[ChHa] Volatar: Engie C
[ChHa] Volatar: Volatar the Lanis is the pilot
Dog G6: second jump, saved an engi from a flaming and sploding station
Dog G6: tobasco sauce everywhere
Dog G6: he’s okay though
[ChHa] Volatar: Dog the engie will run the guns
Dog G6: lol
Dog G6: WHAT DA
Dog G6: DIS AUTOSHIP
Dog G6: yeh they better miss
[ChHa] Volatar: Two Steps From Hell – Starfleet on this playlist? I like it already
[ChHa] Volatar: perfect
Dog G6: it just popped drones and haxing and stuff
Dog G6: and a missile
Dog G6: missiles are hax
[ChHa] Volatar: o.O
Dog G6: only I should have them
Dog G6: jk lol
[ChHa] Volatar: yes missiles are hax
[ChHa] Volatar: I kinda like the stealth cruiser
Dog G6: defense drone was amazing
Dog G6: I had it last game
[ChHa] Volatar: since I can dodge most missiles
[ChHa] Volatar: And
Dog G6: defense drone was pew pewing asteroids and missiles and everything
[ChHa] Volatar: Gabe the Engie will be manning my engines
Dog G6: oh yeah forgot to turn autofire on…
[ChHa] Volatar: ship name
Dog G6: THIS DRONE MATE
Dog G6: THIS DR0N3 M8
[ChHa] Volatar: ESS (Engie Star Ship) Revenge!
Dog G6: he’s screwed now
Dog G6: I tried to balance the playlist so it’s not all just one kind of song in one spot
Dog G6: altho generally artists are sort’ve togetherish
Dog G6: it should be a balanced level of epic
[ChHa] Volatar: This ship starts with a Clone Bay cool
Dog G6: xD
Dog G6: really? nice
[ChHa] Volatar: well
[ChHa] Volatar: I uh set the playlist on shuffle anyways
Dog G6: lol okay
[ChHa] Volatar: Distress beacon my first encounter
[ChHa] Volatar: Stranded ship needs fuel
Dog G6: already got a defense drone
Dog G6: third jump
[ChHa] Volatar: sure I can spare
Dog G6: a crew and a defense drone
Dog G6: going good
Dog G6: that means imma lose
Dog G6: whenever you do good off the bat
Dog G6: you know the game is trolling
Dog G6: xD
[ChHa] Volatar: lol
[ChHa] Volatar: oh frick asteroid field
Dog G6: got a quest
[ChHa] Volatar: OH CRAP
[ChHa] Volatar: asteroids took out my shield D:
Dog G6: my drone -_-
Dog G6: flew right into a missile
[ChHa] Volatar: Surrender? nah
[ChHa] Volatar: haha
[ChHa] Volatar: YEah
Dog G6: and this ship is going to jump
[ChHa] Volatar: The fact that that can happen amuses me greatly
Dog G6: like first thing my drone is like “imma check dis out”
Dog G6: yeh
Dog G6: I like that they have collision detection
Dog G6: on stuff
Dog G6: did you see the miracle shot video?
[ChHa] Volatar: FIX THE ENGINES GABE SO WE CAN GET OUT OF HERE
[ChHa] Volatar: no
Dog G6: wow everyone just has missiles mate
Dog G6: EVERYONE HAS DA MISSILES
[ChHa] Volatar: JUMP
Dog G6: for the love of fishjack shoot the engine dammit drone
Dog G6: thank you
Dog G6: STOP WITH THE MISSILES
[ChHa] Volatar: oh crap this automated ship has a haxor drone
Dog G6: lol
[ChHa] Volatar: no!
[ChHa] Volatar: he is haxing my gun
Dog G6: oh nice my drone immediately completely destroyed both their weapons and their engine
Dog G6: NO MISSILES FOR YEH
Dog G6: everything I’ve come across has just been shooting missiles
[ChHa] Volatar: whew
[ChHa] Volatar: got him
[ChHa] Volatar: some lucky hits on his hacking system and I was able to start shooting
Dog G6: ASB ASB
Dog G6: NUUU
Dog G6: better kill dis noob quick
Dog G6: FOR TRISQUIT DUCK
Dog G6: uh oh ASB about to fire
[ChHa] Volatar: oh crap
[ChHa] Volatar: everything is on fire
Dog G6: YOU MUST DOUSE THE TABASCO
[ChHa] Volatar: they got my sheilds and a lazor drone is tearing me up
[ChHa] Volatar: clone bay on fire
[ChHa] Volatar: sheilds on fire
Dog G6: all my stuff is missing
[ChHa] Volatar: sensors on fire
[ChHa] Volatar: o2 on fire
Dog G6: OKAY
Dog G6: FINALLY
Dog G6: DEY DEAD
[ChHa] Volatar: oh dear
[ChHa] Volatar: and they escaped
[ChHa] Volatar: dangit
[ChHa] Volatar: I have 3 hull points left
Dog G6: I’m trying to get my cockpit repaired while the ASB is getting ready to go Michael Bay on me
Dog G6: JUUUUUUUUUUUUUUMP
[ChHa] Volatar: ow
[ChHa] Volatar: I need a shop
[ChHa] Volatar: fast
[ChHa] Volatar: CRAP
Dog G6: whatchu think of the music
[ChHa] Volatar: music good
Dog G6: lol
[ChHa] Volatar: so
Dog G6: don’t die too quickly
[ChHa] Volatar: I gotta so through a ship encounter before I can reach the shop
[ChHa] Volatar: A, or B (nebula)
Dog G6: cool ran into a terraformer
[ChHa] Volatar: what do you think?
Dog G6: mmm
[ChHa] Volatar: o.O
Dog G6: hmm
[ChHa] Volatar: a what?
Dog G6: nebula it?
Dog G6: a terraformer
[ChHa] Volatar: yeah I think so
Dog G6: a federation one
Dog G6: terraforming ship
Dog G6: is pretty cool
[ChHa] Volatar: whew
[ChHa] Volatar: managed to use hacking to avoid a fight
[ChHa] Volatar: never met a terraforming ship
Dog G6: tried to explored an asteroid field
[ChHa] Volatar: STORE TIME
Dog G6: just ended up with tabasco on my ship again dammit
[ChHa] Volatar: all my scrap to fix the ship
[ChHa] Volatar: only at 60%
[ChHa] Volatar: just lots of good epic background music
Dog G6: I hardly ever use shuffle xD
[ChHa] Volatar: nope changes up the order
Dog G6: I just got double mantis controlled
[ChHa] Volatar: oh dear
Dog G6: wow it’s just hostile sectors
Dog G6: lol
Dog G6: another batch of hostile after this
[ChHa] Volatar: haha
[ChHa] Volatar: got this ships drone with my laser
Dog G6: I always go the top sectors for some reason
[ChHa] Volatar: lucky hit
Dog G6: imma go the bottom route this time
[ChHa] Volatar: i still am in sector one lol
Dog G6: lol
Dog G6: there should be some M83 in there, idk if you like M83
Dog G6: and… a lot of other stuff xD
Dog G6: YAY FOR MANTIS
[ChHa] Volatar: M83 is good
[ChHa] Volatar: Muse right now
Dog G6: I DON’T HAVE UGPRADED DOORS
[ChHa] Volatar: haha
Dog G6: yeah threw some muse in
Dog G6: THIS GONNA BE SO GOOD
Dog G6: just going to be a massive sissy fight basically
[ChHa] Volatar: got a better drone sweet
Dog G6: my engi stopped a zombie plague
[ChHa] Volatar: nice
Dog G6: or calmed one
Dog G6: lol
Dog G6: close enough
Dog G6: 28 jumps later
[ChHa] Volatar: exit time
Dog G6: that ASB !@#$ed my hull over
[ChHa] Volatar: haha
Dog G6: OH GOOD SUPER GIANT
[ChHa] Volatar: wow
Dog G6: JUST WHAT I ALWAYS WANTEDAWEHFAWELJFAWEL
Dog G6: xD
[ChHa] Volatar: Super hostile in the upper route
[ChHa] Volatar: less so lower route
[ChHa] Volatar: but this is a different arrangement than ususal
[ChHa] Volatar: http://steamcommunity.com/id/Volatar/screenshot/34093147955058722
Dog G6: killed them very quickly, just as the first flare detonated
[ChHa] Volatar: going nebula
Dog G6: wow that’s even worse than mine xD
[ChHa] Volatar: haha
[ChHa] Volatar: OH CRAP
Dog G6: lol they hacked my sensor room
[ChHa] Volatar: reactor at half capacity in this nebula
Dog G6: good
[ChHa] Volatar: what do I keep online…
Dog G6: not something useful too much at least
Dog G6: and my first shot misses very happy about that
[ChHa] Volatar: welp
[ChHa] Volatar: turning off my o2 for a little bit so I can actually use my guns
[ChHa] Volatar: annnnd they missiled my guns
[ChHa] Volatar: o2 back on then
Dog G6: double shields now
Dog G6: used the rest to repair
Dog G6: rest of the scrao
Dog G6: scrap
Dog G6: KEYBOARD
[ChHa] Volatar: STOP
[ChHa] Volatar: MISSILING
[ChHa] Volatar: MY GUNS
Dog G6: this episode should just be called “Torpedo Boat Massacre”
Dog G6: oh yeah some Zack Hemsey in here as well
Dog G6: SO…MUCH….EPIC….!
Dog G6: lol
Dog G6: I mean
Dog G6: missiles won’t care
Dog G6: about double shields
Dog G6: but nothin’ can do ’bout dat
Dog G6: I need to get power for my defense drone
Dog G6: last time I just rapidly toggled power between defense and combat drone
[ChHa] Volatar: Dog almost died
Dog G6: that’s the little trick I figured out
Dog G6: I mean, I’m sure I’m not the first to ever realize that trick
[ChHa] Volatar: hehe
Dog G6: probably not even the millionth and first
Dog G6: but still
Dog G6: it’s much nicer with a drone recovery arm tho
[ChHa] Volatar: true
Dog G6: I may… run out of fuel soon.
[ChHa] Volatar: me too
Dog G6: just putting that out there
[ChHa] Volatar: hard choice here
Dog G6: also I’m fighting mantis in front of a super star
[ChHa] Volatar: I have 12 hull
[ChHa] Volatar: and 3 fuel
[ChHa] Volatar: sold my extra drone for scrap
[ChHa] Volatar: that should help things
[ChHa] Volatar: back in good shape now
[ChHa] Volatar: geez
[ChHa] Volatar: sector 3 choice
Dog G6: 02 down
[ChHa] Volatar: nebula
[ChHa] Volatar: or rebel controlled
[ChHa] Volatar: gotta go with the neb
Dog G6: and fires
Dog G6: JUUUUMP
Dog G6: wow
Dog G6: my drone
Dog G6: just immediately
Dog G6: decided to park in front of their laser
Dog G6: gratz there
Dog G6: gratz
Dog G6: gg
[ChHa] Volatar: lol
Dog G6: jar jar
[ChHa] Volatar: gah my o2 is shot again
Dog G6: omg there’s just super giant stars
Dog G6: everywhere
Dog G6: oh these mantis got no teleporter
Dog G6: *smugface*
[ChHa] Volatar: yay?
[ChHa] Volatar: OH CRAP MANTIS
[ChHa] Volatar: hacking their teleporter….
[ChHa] Volatar: dangit too late
[ChHa] Volatar: or not ues
[ChHa] Volatar: yes
[ChHa] Volatar: just in time
Dog G6: lol this ship just has beam weapons
Dog G6: hehehehe
[ChHa] Volatar: haha
Dog G6: and a beam drone as well
Dog G6: heheheheharleherljkhglenizjkudfme gnfriz.k
[ChHa] Volatar: oh crap
[ChHa] Volatar: this one has two missiles
Dog G6: what the actual custard of the french poodle
Dog G6: in my button mashing
[ChHa] Volatar: engie room is on fire
Dog G6: I just somehow locked my computer
[ChHa] Volatar: hahahahaha
Dog G6: and windows wanted to know if I needed to make my computer easier to use
Dog G6: ROFL

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One response to “[Episode 5] FTL: Like if You Die Everytime

  1. Pingback: [Episode 6] FTL: Like if You Die Everytime | Dog House Gaming Blog

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