[Episode 3] FTL: Like if You Die Everytime

Eyy dere readers! The first episode can be found here, and the second here.

FTLlogo3

Sephiroth: yeah, makes sense
Sephiroth: so my entire strat hinges on getting weapons cloaking
Sephiroth: which is probably a bad strat
Dog G6: lol
Sephiroth: but the mother ship will eat me otherwise
Dog G6: I think you’re probably gonna be the main dude of the series
Dog G6: you’re gonna be the David Tennant xD
Sephiroth: rut roh shaggy
Sephiroth: sorry I’m not better looking
Dog G6: Volatar might be playing it a lot as well
Sephiroth: … or funnier
Dog G6: lol
Dog G6: I mean of course I’m in all of them cuz I’m sneaky
Dog G6: I guess maybe that makes you like Rose Tyler or something then
Dog G6: rofl
Dog G6: okay I stfu now
Dog G6: gotta kill Lanius
Dog G6: I bought missiles
Dog G6: as that’s the only way I’m taking down shields
Dog G6: until I get a better weapon
Dog G6: ASTEROID FIELD
Dog G6: NUUU
Dog G6: OH GOOD THEY DRONE HACKED MEH WEAPONZ
Sephiroth: seems reasonable
Dog G6: Next vendetta: Lanius
Dog G6: oh all my shots miss but none of theirs do
Dog G6: they just took out piloting, weapons and shields with one streak
Dog G6: I need to just jump
Dog G6: I need to survive long enough
Dog G6: to just yolowarp
Dog G6: faster than yolo
Sephiroth: kriss kross couldn’t have been wrong
Dog G6: COULD YOU MISS ONE SHOT K PLZ LANIUS TY UPVOTE /R/LANIUSSUX4EVER
Dog G6: one silo took out half my hull
Dog G6: no shields, weapons, medbay, doors
Dog G6: damaged engine
Dog G6: all one shot
Dog G6: you know what screw Slugs
Dog G6: dey be EZ mode relative to Carl Sagan the Lanius here
Dog G6: OH AND NOW THEY’RE JUMPING
Dog G6: NO NOW YOU DIE
Dog G6: IM THE ONE WHO SHOULD BE RUNNING
Dog G6: jumping to an already explored sector
Dog G6: good thing I got a rock
Dog G6: cuz there’s fire and I got no doors
Dog G6: gotta make repairs
Sephiroth: take care of business, rocks on the ship
Sephiroth: i just got a teleporter
Dog G6: nice
Sephiroth: now they are boarding me
Dog G6: lol
Sephiroth: nothing like saying ha ha, glad you made that investment
Sephiroth: jerks
Dog G6: supposed to work the other way around lol
Dog G6: they should at least give you like a complimentary board
Dog G6: to their ship
Dog G6: a trial boarding period
Sephiroth: pro tip
Sephiroth: turn O2 back on after you kill boarding party
Dog G6: more pro tip: don’t take dog seriously ever
Dog G6: oh yeah that’s a good one too
Sephiroth: ha
Dog G6: oh they said “prepare to meet your maker” I thought they said “prepare to meet your wanker”
Dog G6: I was like “wtf lewd brit rebel here?!”
Dog G6: attacking a slaver ship now
Dog G6: whoa their beam went thru my shields
Dog G6: how
Dog G6: I want that beam
Dog G6: got a Zoltan liberated from them
Dog G6: name is Jack
Dog G6: he’s gonna provide backup to weapons system with his power
Sephiroth: worst last stand map ever
Sephiroth: all repair nodes other side of map
Sephiroth: going to have to defend base
Dog G6: lol
Dog G6: whoa does Zoltan counteract decharge drones?
Dog G6: or hack drones or whatever?
Dog G6: hmmm maybe not nvm
Dog G6: might’ve just been the low power
Dog G6: idk
Sephiroth: hax and lies
Dog G6: they have drones giving their shields reinforcement
Dog G6: dammit I’m not getting any scrap this sector
Dog G6: I swear FTL gets more hax everytime I play it
Dog G6: xD
Dog G6: like “YOU SHOULD’VE GOTTEN BETTER AT THE GAME SOONER EH?”
Dog G6: and then if I get thru their reinforcement they decharge my weapons
Dog G6: but they can’t get thru my shields
Dog G6: I want that scrap
Dog G6: guess Imma be actually grinding here xD
Sephiroth: you need that scarp
Dog G6: I need that carp
Dog G6: fry it up
Dog G6: I’m trying to use my burst laser to take down reinforcement then try and wedge a missile in there
Dog G6: that’s the only way imma get a hand on them
Dog G6: I think the Zoltan actually cuts their hacking short
Dog G6: they can decharge my weapons for a sec with their drone
Dog G6: but then it stops
Dog G6: AND THEY REPAIRED THE SHIELD ALREADY
Sephiroth: game faces on, mother ship is bringing the hurt
Dog G6: “Next year on FTL: Like if You Die Everytime, Artyom has 7,349 levels of shield experience”
Sephiroth: lol, seems reasonable and balanced
Dog G6: if a laser can just be timed to hit their drone
Dog G6: then I should be able to get thru their shields
Dog G6: just try and do that
Dog G6: IT STOPPED RIGHT WHERE MY LAZOR WAS FIRING AND I HIT IT
Dog G6: oh now they’re warping hell no
Dog G6: clever timing for decharge
Dog G6: they were about to die too
Dog G6: there they go
Dog G6: I wish you could follow them
Dog G6: and beat the fishsack out of them
Dog G6: I WASTED ALL OF MY MISSILES ON YOU
Dog G6: STAY HERE AND BURN NAO
Dog G6: gruuaugh
Sephiroth: i never role missiles
Sephiroth: so powerful
Sephiroth: unti you run out
Sephiroth: … by sector 2
Dog G6: so essentially that entire sector
Sephiroth: phase 1 moship dead
Dog G6: was me doing nothibng
Sephiroth: getting ready for phase 2
Dog G6: so now I’m a sector behind
Dog G6: and am going to deal with 3 shield stuff
Dog G6: with only the ability for one shield
Dog G6: good
Dog G6: I should be playing Engi anyways
Dog G6: to unlock the next ship
Dog G6: I was hoping to get a quest ship
Sephiroth: i just unlocked B tonight
Dog G6: but that’s not gonna happen
Sephiroth: that was my goal
Sephiroth: but might as well go to beat game
Dog G6: B is wierd
Dog G6: but cool
Dog G6: you’ll see
Dog G6: lol you now have everything I have and more
Dog G6: to be fair you’re playing on easy
Dog G6: and I’m not
Dog G6: but that’s a cheap way to make myself feel better
Sephiroth: cheap and accurate
Dog G6: *facedesk* now there’s a 3 shield lanius ship with 4 weapons here
Dog G6: and missiles
Dog G6: I might as well just go start a new game now huh
Dog G6: xD
Dog G6: glad my shots never hit
Dog G6: I’m so happy about that
Dog G6: if they hit
Dog G6: I’d be sad
Dog G6: and disappoint
Dog G6: I actually killed them
Dog G6: and got 100 scrap
Dog G6: so I can die with it cuz no stores xD
Dog G6: i dead
Dog G6: oh good they shoot an entire salvo at my dead ship
Sephiroth: a moment of silence
Sephiroth: final engagement
Sephiroth: boarding parties coming
Dog G6: IMMA !@#$ DEM LANIUSES UP
Sephiroth: going max door
Dog G6: engi time
Dog G6: I like me some drones
Sephiroth: victory!
Dog G6: man having like at least two drones, flak, a beam weapon and a cheap ion would be amazing for an engi
Sephiroth: i rolled double engi
Sephiroth: double ion
Sephiroth: rather
Sephiroth: had pike and drones
Dog G6: you could just smash into a flagship with that
Dog G6: sigh imma catch you just playing normal
Dog G6: probably not
Dog G6: I”ll catch you once we both have every ship in the game more like it xD
Sephiroth: lol
Sephiroth: i might up to normal soon
Sephiroth: if I’m man enough
Sephiroth: alright
Sephiroth: bed time
Dog G6: gnight seth brogan
Dog G6: lol
Dog G6: nite
Sephiroth: ha

Be sure to join us next week for more pew pew and rampant Tabasco sauce in the medbay! Like and follow (via WordPress) and/or subscribe (via email) if you enjoyed this. Do it for Cubbin.

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2 responses to “[Episode 3] FTL: Like if You Die Everytime

  1. Pingback: [Episode 5] FTL: Like if You Die Everytime | Dog House Gaming Blog

  2. Pingback: [Episode 4] FTL: Like if You Die Everytime | Dog House Gaming Blog

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